Better The Devil ...

Sydney Morning Herald

Saturday November 22, 2008

Rebecca Martin

The tightening job market may mean you'll need to deal with - not run from - bad bosses. Rebecca Martin looks at the options.

Penny Simpson's boss was a complete nightmare.

A dyed-in-the-wool boor, he would pepper his speech with sporting analogies and sexist cracks, rarely passing up an opportunity to humiliate a staff member.

"I had to do joint visits [to clients] with him once a month," says Simpson, who was working in sales at the time. "I would explain things to the client, with whom I already had a rapport. When I finished he would say: 'What she meant to say was this . . .' The client would often end up looking confused."

Simpson's boss was also egocentric. With clients he would prattle on endlessly about himself.

"The conversations would be 80:20 about him when it should be the other way round," she says. "There were so many I's in his sentences that you would have thought he was an optometrist."

Deciding that confronting someone so bigoted was useless, Simpson held her tongue and hoped others would see him for what he was.

"I had a sexist boss making comments about women being emotional," she says. "I knew if I had it out with him he wouldn't take it seriously. I thought it best to keep quiet and let him talk and [show himself up as] an idiot."

Bad bosses are one of the most common hazards of the workplace and most of us have encountered at least one.

Some bosses try to micro-manage staff, removing all opportunity for autonomy; others are sexist or racist but laugh off suggestions of bigotry with: "Can't you take a joke?"; still others are nitpickers who happily dole out criticism but seem incapable of praise. Others in the species include the incompetent who has been promoted beyond his or her skill level; the credit taker who swoops down when a project has been completed to steal the praise; the blamer; and the boss with anger issues.

As well as driving up the blood pressure, bad bosses are bad for business. A recent analysis by exit interview company Exit Info found poor managers were responsible for one in five resignations.

Many companies were unaware of the extent of the problem because departing staff tried to give "acceptable" reasons for leaving, such as a promotion, an overseas move or changes in family circumstances.

In Simpson's case, the answer was for her to leave her job and look for greener pastures. But with the job market tightening, workers will increasingly need to deal with bad bosses rather than run from them.

The managing director of mediation firm The Resolution Centre, Katherine Graham, says one approach is to try to work out what motivates your boss's behaviour and use the information to your benefit.

"The prime motivators for people [at] work are power, achievement and affiliation," says Graham. "When people feel uncomfortable or incompetent or intimidated, their reaction might be an off-the-cuff comment or to be passive-aggressive. You need to try and put them at ease. If your boss has a need for power, give it to them in another situation. Sending an email acknowledging their input gives them power and then they might not look for other ways to get it."

Graham has a friend whose boss tries to bond with colleagues by talking inappropriately about her marital problems. "[My friend] has a hard time with that, as her agenda is just to get the project done and that they don't have time for all the personal stuff," says Graham. "My advice is that the boss obviously has such a need for that kind of thing, so it's better to take the time out to listen and placate her early on."

The CEO of Relationships Australia, Anne Hollonds, says you should also take a close look at what you're bringing to the relationship with your boss. Ask yourself if it's possible you are being unreasonably intolerant of their quirks and human frailties.

"In most cases people have got to a position of authority because they have something to offer," says Hollonds. "It's dangerous to assume [it's all the boss's] fault. If you always have the attitude that it's someone else's fault, then that says a lot about you."

Hollonds says an important lifeskill is being able to accept people who are radically different from ourselves. "Part of being a professional person is to get along with people that you wouldn't want to socialise with," she says. "If you end up with a boss that you have nothing in common with, see it as a learning opportunity and a chance to sandpaper the edges off yourself as a professional."

Master coach Noel Posus of Askacoach.com agrees many people are so busy looking at their bosses through rage-coloured glasses, they can't see they might be adding to the problem.

"If you are feeling victimised or put-out, it can be difficult to respond appropriately versus emotionally react," he says. "Be honest with yourself. Are you being fair in your interpretation of that person?"

(Note: The case study name has been changed.)

Are you the problem?

Is it your boss or is it you who is responsible for conflict at the office?

Robert Sutton, author of The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace And Surviving One That Isn't, says the more you answer "yes" to the following questions, the larger your role is likely to be:

Do you feel surrounded by incompetent idiots and occasionally can't help letting them know that?

Do you feel you were a nice person until you started working with the current bunch of creeps?

Do you not trust the people around you?

Do you see co-workers as competition?

Do you have a small list of close friends and a long list of enemies?

Do you take credit for your team's work?

Are you quick to point out others' mistakes?

Do people seem to stop having fun when you show up?

© 2008 Sydney Morning Herald

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